My Comfort Zone

Posted by on Nov 30, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Things have always come difficult for me my entire life.  In school while other kids would be working on a project or following along with the teacher I’d be several steps behind not understanding what to do or simply drifting off into one of my many fantasies due to my inability to concentrate.  As I’ve gotten older things haven’t changed only now I can accept it.  When I’m taught something instead of immediately catching on it takes me a few times of practicing until I finally get it while others have no problems.  The story of my life.  At my current job it took me almost a month until I got it down pat.  One month while it takes most people no more than a day.  Once I got the hang of it I had no problem but the issue I’ve had my whole life is that things always take me longer to learn than others and it’s not fair.


When I first started my current job there was no online ordering or any other apps on people’s phones in which they could use.  But over time technology has become so advanced it’s basically taken over which is why it took me several tries before I was able to comprehend everything but once I did things went smoothly.  So every time I go to work it’s not a struggle due to the fact that I can do my job with no difficulties despite each day becoming more and more hectic due to online orders.  You’d think management would know me by now realizing I can’t simply be thrown into something and be expected to immediately begin performing the task but apparently that’s not the case since on Monday, the busiest day of the year for online orders they scheduled me to do just that.  What I should have done was told management or at least my manager that I’d be unable to handle acquiring order after innumerable order but I didn’t want it to look as if I simply didn’t want to do it.  Yet someone else who is more tech savvy would have had no qualms nor struggles with it.


What began as a day at work turned into a nightmarish hell.  Now mind you unlike most people who own modernized cell phones I still have my flip phone since I don’t text, take pictures nor rely on it as means of social survival as many do yet when I came to work and already had misgivings about having to be the only person going to get items for constant online orders I was given a quick tutorial on what buttons to push in order to locate then place objects in their correct location.  This is also something I cannot simply be thrown into as whenever I’ve been taught how to perform functions such as this it’s taken me longer than most since I must practice several times beforehand.  In addition, this was an absolutely crazy day with order after endless online order being processed, nonstop calls overhead to management as well as other departments since now is the biggest time for retailers and it was just overall a chaotic day.  After being rapidly told what to do I was nervous as hell but proceeded to the backroom to obtain the first item.  That went off without a hitch and during the interim I performed other duties.  But a little while later an order of four large items appeared requiring me to once again go into the backroom and ask the same person to help me find all four items despite him having his own orders to process.  This time; however, instead of simply scanning the item into a location nothing happened.  Not only did I have four enormous items on a cart I had no place to put them and no name.  Why?  Because I had never before done this and was basically thrown into 50 feet of water after having been calmly swimming in 5 feet for years.  Right after that another huge order pops up but by now my anxiety level was through the roof and when this happens I lose focus on everything else and begin to panic bigtime.  Once again I went into the backroom I’ve now begun to dread and had to ask someone else about a large dresser only to be told I’d have to get a flat to put it on.  By this time I honestly felt like I was going to have a breakdown as I went around the corner to locate more items and was among about fifteen people scrambling to get surges of incoming orders processed.  If that weren’t bad enough after asking someone about utility tubs I needed to get I was told I’d have to go onto the sales floor to retrieve the rest of them.  So I now had a flat containing a huge dresser along with four large utility tubs and was now having to go onto the floor to get two more tubs in addition to having there be other items on the order and that basically broke me as I literally felt myself drowning in the now 100 feet of ice cold water.  All of a sudden I was beyond angst as tears began flooding my eyes at which point one of the managers noticed and tried reassuring me things were OK until he saw me break down as I told him I was trying but couldn’t get all the items.  Thankfully he realized the severity of the matter and had me go back to the department in which I feel most comfortable in as someone else took my place.  While I felt beyond relief about being where I felt most serene my head was spinning with questions such as why I was put in a most anguishing of situations when I’d never before even practiced how to carry out this particular task.  Another question was why I can’t simply learn at a fast pace like others who had also never before done this but were able to handle it.  What if I had just told someone prior to this ever occurring that I wouldn’t be able to do it and asked to switch with someone else?  Would management have had someone else change places with me or refused thus explaining to me that it was required?  I’ll never know but this was a lesson in knowing my capabilities as well as restrictions and if I’m ever faced with having to do something which I know will be an arduous job I’ll tell someone I either need to practice several times beforehand or simply cannot handle it and will use this most distressing experience as a prime example.  Many people can learn things quickly and have no problem with change.  Unfortunately, I’m not one of them which may explain why I have such an affinity for almost everything from the 1980’s and dislike change immensely.  

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