Anomalous Thoughts

Posted by on Jun 27, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

                                                                                 

This title and accompanied cotton candy-like picture more than accurately depicts the kind of day I’ve had but more so in a peculiar as opposed to negative way.  Today I was given a package of candy similar to Pop Rocks in that when I placed the tiny, sweet and crunchy flavored candies on my tongue they immediately began to sizzle and pop as they dissolved which then gave off somewhat of a tingling feeling and I instantly thought of Pop Rocks and the rumor surrounding Mikey from the LIFE cereal boxes.  According to the now infamous urban legend he supposedly died after eating six packs of Pop Rocks and drinking a six-pack of Pepsi resulting in the combined substances inside his stomach exploding thus killing him instantly.  In all honesty when I first heard this years ago I even believed it until it was debunked as nothing more than an urban myth.  Not sure how it even started, quite possibly from the makers of LIFE cereal wanting to stir up gossip thus generating sales.  Whatever the case all I know is that Pop Rocks and other candy similar which give off a fizzing/popping sensation as it dissolves in one’s mouth is ingenious, magical and even scientific.

 

Then, several hours ago I saw an elderly woman wearing a sports hat with sparkly gemstones all over it and I immediately thought of the Bedazzler.  For those unaware of this most bitchin’ creation the Bedazzler, which originated in the 1970’s is a gadget similar to that of a stapler used to fasten rhinestones and studs to fabric.  It was most popular in the mid-eighties and girls of all ages would go crazy with it.  Putting various colored sparkly sequins on their jackets, purses and other attire and while I never had one myself it may explain why I’ve always had a fascination with shiny and glittery objects.  So when I saw this woman and her most flashiest of headgear I was flooded with nostalgic memories.  She also reminded me of a typical wealthy Jewish widow living in Florida who plays bingo on a weekly basis.        

 

I still can’t get how June 21st marked the first day of summer and yet was also the solstice being the longest day of the year with every day thereafter becoming shorter and shorter.  Who the hell wants to hear that?!?!  Just like kids who just got out of school and go into a store only to see those three dreaded words on a sign or hanging from the ceiling:  Back to School.

 

Then, several nights ago I’d heard a twist on a common phrase during the show Murder Chose Me when one of the detectives said “Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.”  Now we’ve all heard of the first part in regards to what can happen when someone talks to the authorities or others about something they shouldn’t but I’ve never heard the last bit of winding up in ditches which is quite possible in terms of what the outcome could be for someone not keeping quiet.  It rhymes, makes sense and has even inspired me to add my own line which goes like this “Snitches need stitches and end up in ditches you tattletaling bitches.”

 

Lastly several weeks ago I was driving home from work while listening to the radio on a Wednesday when the announcer said it was hump day and I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.  I’d never heard that term before and I honestly thought it was a sexual innuendo.  I began asking myself whether or not people had sex with each other more on Wednesdays than any other day of the week then wondered why they’d be airing something so risqué over the radio for the entire city to hear.  It wasn’t until I asked a co-worker about it the following day that I was informed of the meaning which is the middle of a working week.  Ahhhhh.  Now I get it and I’m no longer mortified.  With that I’m going to place an entire pack of Pop Rocks rip-offs in my mouth and attempt to attach some multi-colored jewels to my GUESS jean jacket while using a hot glue gun as I listen to Air Supply’s Greatest Hits.

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