80’s Blog

Read the latest blog posts from 80sGirl4Ever! You never know what she’s up to, but you can be assured she’s got on her leg warmers and neon colors while she’s doing it.

Cyberf*cked

Posted by on Jun 19, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Validation once again that technology is always out to get me.  It all began on Thursday while I was reading an article online.  There was a small picture to the right preventing me from reading the entire piece so I simply X’d it out thinking nothing of it then, seconds later my computer screen went haywire.  Suddenly an automated female voice came on repeating the same sentence to the effect of “Someone is trying to steal your banking details” as the accompanied words shown on the screen along with something that said Microsoft Warning or something like that.  Then to the left of the screen were untold numerical figures down the entire page and I felt like I was looking at the stock exchange only it was on my frickin’ computer!  I panicked because while I’ve had problems in the past with viruses creeping into my PC it was nothing like this.  I knew this was some kind of a scam when an 877 number appeared and instructed me to call it. 

 

My computer was completely frozen hindering me from closing the page out and therefore I had no choice but to shut it down manually.  By this time I was freaking the f&ck out as I didn’t know how, what or who was responsible for this.  I had a nauseated feeling that by calling the number it would end up causing more damage to my computer but my curiosity got the best of me so I called it and who answers but someone with an Indian-sounding accent.  The second he spoke I immediately hung up and didn’t dare go near the computer out of fear it may have blown up.

 

The following day I brought my PC to a computer repair service but still needed to find out how this newest and worst technical disaster occurred if at all possible.  After searching the net only to discover that whole Microsoft warning was indeed nothing but an online scam I called that same 877 number from my blocked home phone but when the person answered she wasn’t foreign.  I explained the entire situation and this is where it gets even more bizarre.  The woman said the company associated with that phone number was not a tech support company at all but rather sold health insurance.  This confirmed my initial suspicion that this was indeed fraudulent and thank God I didn’t speak to that person when I first called the number as I can only imagine the damage he would have caused had he remotely connected to my computer.  But I’m still baffled as to how he was on the other end of the line when I called.  Did this towelhead skillfully route that 877 number to where he was knowing I’d call while hoping he could hoodwink me then simply vanish?  I’ve never heard of anything like this before and believe me I’ve heard plenty.

 

I’m outraged that this happened and am completely clueless as to how, by merely closing a picture on my computer some type of malware infected it but I know I’m certainly not the first nor last person this has happened to as countless scams are occurring now more than ever before.  Hackers malevolently gaining access into people’s personal computers causing worry and terror in addition to money in order to correct the issue/issues.  Who does this?!?!?!  Oh wait, I know treacherous bastards who have nothing better to do with their time than to disrupt others’ lives.  It seems nowadays everyone’s out to swindle others such as calling and terrifying innocent people by telling them their family member is in danger or will be going to jail unless they go out and buy $2,000 or some other absurd amount in gift cards at a particular retailer.  And unsuspecting people, especially elderly believe it, go out and spend thousands of dollars on gift cards only to find out they’ve been conned.  Great world we’re living in.  

 

This is yet another example of how things like this never happened years ago but the more technology advances the more people, many of whom are high-tech geniuses will continue to devise crafty methods to dupe victims any and every which way they can.  It’s no wonder I’m so distrusting of others.

Creepy Crawlers and Winged Fairies

Posted by on Jun 5, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Alas!  My favorite time of the year is here and I’m so excited!  Instead of having to bundle up and tackle the dreaded snow it’s warm and sunny (some but not all days).  The only thing I despise about summer are the bugs and I’m not referring to ants or tiny spiders.  I mean stink bugs who, in the past several years have become more prevalent.  The reason for their suitable name is because when they feel threatened or get killed they emit a horrid stench and even when you squash them many times they’re still moving.  Each and every time I smash them, usually with a shoe I always let out a blood curdling scream due my immense fear of them and I can only imagine what my neighbors think.  Up until about three years ago I’d never even heard of them and now they just keep appearing almost everywhere and I hate them.  I realize the heat attracts many kinds of insects which I’m fine with just so long as they don’t bother me but, prior to having my-much needed oscillating fan on while I sleep those annoying little bastards would wake me up at all hours of the night and early morning by flying around then hitting my hardwood floor which makes a ticking sound.  I’ve lost track of the dreams they’ve interrupted despite me cranking up my white noise machine which is why, now that it’s hot I can’t sleep without my fan that completely drowns all unwanted noises out.    

 

Now ladybugs I have no problem with.  They’re small and adorable with their black spots atop their red shell plus they’re good luck, at least that’s the folklore behind them which is why one should never kill a ladybug and instead release them outside.  Of all the months of the year only one shares the same name with that of an insect being June bug except they’re nothing but beetles.  The one insect; however, I’ve always found captivating is the firefly, also referred to as a lightening bug.  The reason they’re so distinct unlike other beetles similar in form is because they light up.  While I haven’t seen any yet when they illuminate it’s almost magical to see.  Sometimes I’ll look outside and there’ll be countless lightening bugs all around yet as many times as I’ve tried catching one it hasn’t happened.  

 

While I hope to never see another stink bug least of all in my room I’d have no worries about seeing fireflies lit up as they’d look like tiny pixies flying all around.  This also reminds me of a line from the highly entertaining movie The Great Outdoors when Roman was talking to his wife and said “All kids like bugs, they’re cute.  Especially fireflies, their butts light up.”

 

 

 

Breaking in Breakfast

Posted by on May 31, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

While it’s true that breakfast is the most important meal of the day it happens to be my least favorite.  When I was in elementary school I was forced into eating it but soon wised up by putting a few flakes in my cereal bowl and mixing some milk in it while no one was looking then would sit down and pretend to eat quickly so in case one of my parent’s came into the kitchen I’d say and show them I was done.  Even when I’d visit relatives I always woke up earlier than everyone else (age I guess) and would place a bowl mixed with a bit of milk and several flakes inside the sink w=so it would appear as if I’d already eaten.  That’s how much I detested eating in the morning because I’ve just never had an appetite that early.  Whenever my family goes out for breakfast or even brunch I refuse to go because I won’t eat that early in the day regardless as to whether they’re giving one free such as on one’s birthday.  Now dinner?  That’s my most favored meal.  

 

Almost two years ago I was hospitalized, of all days the day before my birthday and following this I began to eat something in the morning.  I refuse to consume cereal yet adore Pillsbury Toaster Strudels, cookies and various other types of food regardless whether or not they’re the most healthy.  I still despise eating breakfast yet force myself to which is why the title of this particular entry is spot-on in terms of how I feel towards the morning meal.  I’ve always found it strange; however, that I won’t eat cereal for breakfast yet occasionally have it as a snack at night.  Go figure.   

Quite Puzzling

Posted by on May 27, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Yesterday was a most fabulous day.  It all began after I got out of work and met a friend at Dairy Queen, a place I haven’t been to in more than thirty years.  After we sat outside enjoying the warm sun and most interesting of conversations we went back to my house to bust open the long-awaited 1980’s puzzle.  I placed a cover over our picnic table and we began our adventure into the abyss of puzzle playing. 

 

As I began looking at all of the 1000 miniature shapes spread out all over the table I began asking myself what the hell I was thinking.  The picture of all people and items from the eighties captured my attention which is why I bought it but I didn’t really take into consideration the time and intricacy involved in such a humongous puzzle such as this.  Thankfully the person I was playing with is much more in tuned with these things than I am and he first began by finding the edges and placing them on the cardboard.  Never would have crossed my mind.

 

To use the word challenging would be a great understatement as I was looking at these innumerable pieces not knowing where the f&ck they would all go then, just as suspected anger began setting in and I truly wanted to get whatever pieces were placed correctly on the cardboard in addition to the many others and just chuck them into the yard since I was sitting directly behind the it.  Fortunately my friend began putting them together much quicker than I did and I estimate that while he did about 80% of it I did the rest.  Yippee!!!!!!!  After about four-and-a-half hours of playing I realized we wouldn’t be able to finish since it had begun to get dark.  So we carefully carried the large cardboard semi-finished puzzle upstairs into a spare bedroom.  I’m not sure when we’ll complete it but as I sat there bewildered at where to put each piece I immediately realized why I never played puzzles as a child and why after yesterday I really think I hate them.  I can admit that this is the last puzzle I’ll ever attempt to play and even question when the time comes that each and every piece is in place revealing the most gnarly puzzle ever if I won’t just keep it on the cardboard permanently.  Of course it could pose some difficulties since just one wrong move and the pieces could go everywhere thus destroying hours of dedication or I could just put them back in the bag knowing I’ll never take them out again unless of course I burn them.  After all now that summer’s here it’s the perfect time for camping and of course campfires.  The best part of my day was having a much desired Cotton Candy Blizzard.

 

 

 

Piece By Piece

Posted by on May 25, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

When I was little I loved playing with dolls and board games but I’ve never been fond of puzzles due to the simple fact that finding the pieces and placing them in the correct spot can be quite challenging.  I’ve seen ones from states, landscapes and numerous others but none have ever captured my interest, that is until two years ago when I was walking through the toy aisle of a store and instantly glimpsed a box with many a pictures from people, movies, television and everything in between all from the eighties with the caption The 1980’s.  I was so excited I wanted to bust out singing “Fame” but settled by picking up the 1000 piece puzzle and buying it.

 

Most people would have opened and played it immediately but I’ve waited for the most perfect day and hopefully that will be tomorrow since the weather’s finally warm seeing that it must be outside.  As I open both sides of the taped edges I’ll feel like that of a treasure hunter opening the chest of a newly discovered fortune  only I won’t be set for life financially that is unless opening the box contains precious and rare gems, gold and other precious metals. My only question is whether or not I’ll still be as eager as I am now once I begin trying to put them all together or will become enraged if I can’t possibly resulting in me picking up the glass table and hurling it into the street.  We’ll soon find out.  Below is the photo of the bodacious puzzle which will be played and hopefully correctly put together.

 

 

Complete Idiocy

Posted by on May 19, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

I’m still baffled over the fact that millions of people tuned in to watch the Royal Wedding which required them to either set their clocks or simply stay up until 4:30 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.  Do they know the newest Royal couple?  Is it going to profoundly affect people’s lives or put money into their bank accounts?  Then who the f*ck cares if they got married or not?!?!!?  I spoke to someone yesterday who told me that she, along with four of her obviously run-of-the-mill friends were staying up all night so they could watch the wedding.  What was going to happen after it was all over?  Were they going to join the Royal Family for the party afterward?  No, most likely they’d all go back to their bland homes in the suburbs and either go back to sleep or stay up the entire day texting or talking to their friends and family about the wedding.  What a life changing event!!!!!  Hashtag dumbassess!!!!!!!

Basking in the Bliss of Baths and Bargains

Posted by on May 17, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

There’s nothing like seeing a product I use slapped with a clearance sticker as the cheaper it is the higher my euphoria rises.  Ever since I received a box of cubed bath fizzies years ago I’ve been enthralled by them.  It’s almost scientific when you think about it because when placed in warm or hot water the bath bomb effervesces similar to that of an Alka-Seltzer except in a bathtub.  Having used several types of bath melts including round, squared and even oval-shaped they really are totally tubular because the hotter the water the quicker they fizz and bubble up thus dissipating leaving the water colored, scented (unless they’re free of fragrance and dye) and one’s skin softer.  Using a red bath bomb could be the ultimate prank for a couple of reasons.  The first could be used by a female screaming for her boyfriend, fiancé or husband to come into the bathroom and when he sees the water is all red he’ll think it’s blood and she could tell him she’s miscarrying terrifying the poor bastard then immediately yell “April Fools!” or “Psych!” at which point he’ll probably fall to the floor while clutching his chest.  The other could be if a couple both have large amounts of life insurance policies on each other and one wants to pretend they were murdered while in the bathtub which may result in the spouse walking in and becoming so horrified at the sight they could end up having a fatal heart attack or a stroke.  Cha-Ching!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

While I enjoy what bath fizzers have to offer I can’t and won’t buy them unless they’re on clearance since even 1/2 off is often times too pricey.  For example, the product da Bomb Bath Fizzers were ingeniously created by two sisters when they were an astonishing ten and eleven-years-old.  To be entrepreneurs at that age is truly estimable but at the same time I just can’t justify spending $7.50 or even $5.00 for each bath bomb when I could buy four of them for the same price as just one.  While there are numerous bath bombs on the market including ones you could make yourself which are all similar to each other in size basically equivalating to that of a tennis ball they’re too costly for me but I must admit one of da Bombs clever names appropriately called “F” Bomb in reference to someone dropping the “F” Bomb only in this case in a bathtub is classic.

 

Several days ago I was walking through my favorite part of a department store, the clearance section and happened up on a box of four squared bath melts 1/2 off the original price bringing it down to  $4.99.  Each square is the same size as a bomb so instead of spending $5.00 for one I got four.  That’s a deal.  I’m not one of those fanatical couponers who hands the cashier an entire stack thus forcing the person or people behind her or him to wait impatiently along with possibly having the urge to take that same pair of scissors they used to clip their coupons and begin stabbing that aggravating couponer with them.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t like to save money.  All I know is that bath fizzers are a fun yet often times overpriced product so when that delightful clearance sticker is placed on the front of the item I can almost hear the bath fizzie bubbling up as it anxiously awaits my purchase.      

 

 

Glitter Saves the Day on the First of May

Posted by on May 1, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Today is the nicest day of 2018 despite getting over a nasty cold.  So each month I change the glitter text on my site and often times it’s a challenge deciding which shade to use.  As of recently; however, I’ve begun realizing that the colors are the same and the variety isn’t that abundant.  I went to the site to change it yet again but there was a glitch which prevented me from doing anything.  I tried several more times and started to panic since I’ve been using this same site for sparkle ever since creating my distinctive website.  While there are other sites to generate glitter I’ve always been afraid that using it might damage something thus preventing the text from appearing on the homepage at all since computers and pretty much all forms of technology hate me.  

 

I checked several sites and after deciding which one to take a chance on I cautiously went on while silently praying no viruses would attack my computer and when I started searching the colored text they offer I was completely blown away.  Multi-colored glitter and other designs the previous site didn’t offer.  After choosing the most perfectly colored blue I followed the exact steps as I have for years and thankfully my text is stunningly gleaming.  I can’t believe the diversity in hues and designs available and actually began going through several of them to see how they look adorned in my far-out name.  It totally made my day.

 

I’m now going to sit out in the sun while closing my eyes envisioning many of the majestic glitters which will sparkle and shine each month.  Like fer shur!!!!!!!   

Poultry Frenzy

Posted by on Apr 30, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

I don’t care what people say about how unhealthy they believe fast-food is.  The bottom line is that it tastes great and if you think about it more and more eateries have become health conscious by adding salads to their menus and incorporating fruits and vegetables in their kids’ meals.  While I enjoy the food from most fast-food chains I’m majorly disappointed that my absolute favorites Jack in the Box and Carl’s Jr. are West Coast franchises since I now live clear across the country.  

 

I do; however, have hope now that Chick-fil-A has rolled into town.  I’d never even heard of it but plenty of others have.  I looked it up and surprisingly there’s one in 48 of the 50 states which is quite impressive.  By the way people acted prior to its grand opening a little more than two weeks ago you’d have thought Willy Wonka was re-opening his chocolate factory for the first hundred people since that was the number of people required to stand in line for at least 24 hours and once the doors opened they’d receive a voucher for 52 meals which includes a chicken sandwich, medium waffle fry and medium drink.  Apparently that was the deal of a lifetime for many since people actually camped out overnight in tents.  No amount of free food could warrant me sleeping in a frickin’ tent or standing in line for the entire day and night.  Crazy bastards.

 

On the morning the restaurant opened one would have thought the hottest actor in the movies (whoever that currently is) was arriving.  Cameramen, people dressed up as cows and others as jubilant as could be anxiously awaiting the doors to open.  So the first 100 people get a 52 meals free while the rest must stand in line for who knows how long so they could sink their teeth into a sandwich or whatever other item they choose.

 

I definitely want to try Chick-fil-A and hopefully will soon despite the traffic, especially the drive-thru.  The place must be great since several days ago when I passed by I honestly thought there was an accident due to the three police cars with their flashing lights on only to discover they were directing vehicles thus avoiding congestion or, as some might refer to it as a clusterf*ck or in this case a clustercluck.  All due to Chick-fil-A.  I must give props to the establishment which is closed on Sundays, something that’s truly a thing of the past.  They also observe Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day and Easter Sunday which is commendable.  

 

Now if only Jack in the Box and Carl’s Jr. would follow suit we’d be all set.  At least in terms of fast-food.

HIGHPOThesis

Posted by on Apr 20, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

                                                    

 

I’ve been waiting for the right time to write about this most ideal of topics and upon discovering the inception of April 20th, also referred to as 420, 4:20 or 4/20 it couldn’t be any more appropriate.  It all began back in February when I mentioned to a co-worker the irony of how Valentine’s Day was on Ash Wednesday and April Fool’s Day happened to fall on Easter Sunday.  Then he said “Then there’s April 20th” but I didn’t know the significance of it that is until he told me it’s a term for smoking pot.  Am I the only person on the planet who was completely unaware of this?  As a result I became so fascinated with the origin of the date and people that I did some research and learned 4/20 is indeed a code term in the world of cannabis especially when it’s smoked at 4:20 either a.m. or p.m.  

 

It all came about in 1971 at San Rafael High School in Marin Country, California by a group of five stoner friend who called themselves “the Waldo’s.”  According to legend 4:20 became a code for their marijuana use.  Little did they know the rippling effect their toking pastime and cipher would become once it reached the Grateful Dead which helped to launch the term making 4/20 the worldwide code it is today.  

 

While that story is quite noteworthy I’ve got one which takes the word naivety to new and possibly unknown levels.  Seeing that I’ve never been around any type of drugs (not to sound self-righteous I’ve just never had an interest in inhaling nor ingesting any type of illegal substance) I’m unable to distinguish one from another.  One day I was waiting on a black female and was immediately hit with the most horrid stench I presumed to be skunk piss.  It reeked all around her and I actually thought to myself “Was this ghetto chick just peed on by a skunk?”  Maybe if I’d have mentioned this to someone they would have explained the truth behind my zany misconception but I didn’t think it was a big deal, that was until it happened several more times with the exact repugnant odor emanating from the same ethnicity.  I really started to wonder whether black people lived in the country or just had skunks nearby who would typically urinate all over them.  

 

About a month or so went by then one evening a young black couple came in and I was once again hit with that same putrid funk but once they left and I instantly began spraying Febreze all around when an employee nearby said “Whew!  That’s some strong pot!”  Then it suddenly dawned on me.  That overpowering almost to the point of nauseating stink I kept smelling from one black person to another wasn’t skunk piss, though it couldn’t have possibly smelled any closer to it.  It was pot!!!!!!!!  How unworldly could I have been?  After that another co-worker explained in detail the definition of a hotbox which was almost mortifying.  We must remember that 80sgirl is stuck in an era far removed from the modern world consisting of unnumbered tech-loving clones who can’t come up with a single original thought or saying as they continue to use the same up-to-date lingo as their peers.  “Omigod we’re gonna get so lit tonight!”  Real trendsetters.  But back to me.  Upon learning this it all began to make sense.  Black people didn’t live on farms and weren’t being sprayed by skunks they were just  high.

 

It didn’t end there; however, since just a few weeks after this most recent of enlightening experiences I was in line at the grocery store with my mother of all people when that same familiar yet vile stink drifted through the air and into my nasal passage except this time it wasn’t coming from the same type of people it had been.  Surprisingly it was of a nicely dressed middle-aged Caucasian woman ahead of me.  But the best part was the fact that my mother who was standing beside me also smelled it but didn’t know what it was.  So I whispered to her that it was reefer that smelled like skunk pee and she gave me a look of pure bewilderment.  Right after I said that the elderly lady behind us started to laugh because she’d overheard our conversation.  I on the other hand was still reeling over the fact that she wasn’t black.  Wow!!!!!!!!!  Since I’m not a connoisseur in weed whatsoever I don’t know whether they all have that same abhorrent fetor but I hope and pray to never again smell it.  

 

I realize the subject of marijuana use is such a grey area giving both the book and movie Fifty Shades of Grey an entirely new meaning due to differing views, beliefs, etc. but the one thing I’ve always found intriguing are pot brownies.  Since one isn’t smoking the herb due to it being edible would it be considered a drug at all or merely a confectionary ingredient enabling the person consuming it to reach new highs?  So to everyone indulging in their favorite or semi-favorite recreation on this most festive of dates (and possible time) while taking a most psychedelic trip I say Bong Voyage!!!!!