Major Vehicle Phobia

Posted by on Jan 21, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

So I planned on ringing in the New Year by posting the most thought-provoking and brutally honest entry yet only I miscalculated the length of time it would take as I’m still in the process of writing it so what better a time than now to explain my beyond apprehension when it comes to backing out of spots in parking lots.  It absolutely terrifies me so I always try to park in the space ahead so all I have to do is simply drive out.  There are times; however, when the only way to park is in a spot that requires the backing up of a vehicle unless of course one wants to drive forward thus causing severe damage to their car, truck or SUV in addition to possibly getting fined for what could be considered vandalizing public property.  That said or in this case written when I’m forced to back out of a spot it takes the word anxiety to sky-high levels.     I panic that while backing out another car driving by might not see me as is the case many times in parking lots and hit me, then there are people walking by I may not see as well as having an overall feeling of dislike since driving forward is just so simple.  You get in, look both ways, pull forward and you’re off.  Whereas when backing out there’s the turning of the wheel and the constant watching to make sure no one’s coming.  Driving forward is just much better for me.     There are times if I go to a store and the only nearby spots available require backing out I’ll walk further just to be able to park where I can drive out.  Walking several more steps are more than worth hearing a crash or a...

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End of Holidaze

Posted by on Jan 2, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Words can’t begin to describe my elation over the fact that the holidays are finally over.  No more maudlin Christmas songs that have been re-recorded over and over again.  No more decorations I’ve been forced to view for the better part of the last two months.  And last but not least an end to the sappy movies which Lifetime has been airing since November.  Call me a Grinch but I’m so tired of having to celebrate the same holiday year after year from unnecessary spending, receiving items which most times becomes a return and the entire hubbub that goes along with it.  I haven’t even begun my returns yet and the thought of having to do so is enough for me to want to get back into my pajamas and stay in them for the next week.  I’m just glad they’re over and done.  That is until ten months from...

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Just Another Day

Posted by on Dec 31, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Since this is my last entry for the year it’s the perfect time to write of the first time I heard the idiom “See you next year” which I took literally.  I was in my fifth grade P.E. class and as we were leaving my teacher told us “See you next year” and I was so confused as I’d never heard anyone use that phrase before.  For the rest of the day I really thought we not only had Christmas break but that we wouldn’t have to go back to school for a year.  My hopes were completely dashed; however, when I got home and asked my mother what my teacher meant and she said it was something many people say if they’re not going to see someone until after New Year’s Eve.  Damn.    As stated in previous entries I’m not a New Year’s Eve person at all and the more people talk about the upcoming year the more I want to stay in the early 80’s.  Speaking of which I’m watching Classic MTV and wishing they would play music videos from 1980-1989 continuously.  Truly wishful thinking.  This is how eventful my New Year’s Eve is.  I’m making a list all of my prior calendars from years past to ensure the one I get for 2018 is entirely different from the rest as it’s extremely important to have the most perfect calendar to view each day.     I am looking forward to four fun-filled hours of real-life crimes all taken place on New Year’s Eve.  So let the others watch the ball drop I’ll be captivated by murders thus furthering my already overly suspicious mind.  Cheerio....

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Glimmering Snow and Shimmering Lights

Posted by on Dec 22, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Once again Christmas is upon us but unlike when I was younger and anxiously awaited Santa’s arrival the holidays have now become meaningless.  Malls and other retailers displaying Christmas merchandise as early as October since the holiday is  now all about how they can all meet and surpass their quotas.   While  I’m as disillusioned as one could be pertaining to Christmas as well as New Year’s Eve which is my least favorite holiday there are certain things I’m absolutely enamored with such as snow globes.  Ever since I remember seeing my first snow globe when I was in kindergarten I’ve been completely enthralled with them.  Miniature artwork from tiny people to innumerable other objects figure enclosed in glass filled with water and artificial snow while atop a ceramic figure is so serene and when you shake it the synthetic snow disperses all over making it appear as if it’s a glass-filled fantasy.   It’s amazing how many styles of snow globes, also referred to as water globes exist.  Cities, animals and landmarks just to name a few that are captivating to look at.  There are variations of snow globes including ones that light up, play music and have electric motors enabling automatic snow to swirl around without having to be shaken and every time I turn one of those on it makes me wish I were inside that very glass-encased globe with fake or real (depending on my mood) snow fluttering all around me.  Talk about a major Winter Wonderland.   Objects made with LED lights are another dazzling creation I revel in looking at.  Whether it’s of a flashing snowman, Santa or a number of other eye-catching items they’re enchanting to look at especially while watching real-life crime shows which may explain why I own several.  In fact, just a few days ago when I was finishing the last of my dreaded holiday shopping I came across a magical night light that not only interchanges between three color modes it also has a star mode so when it turns on multiple stars along with the moon appear.  All that’s missing are hearts, clovers, diamonds and horseshoes which are shape of the marshmallows in Lucky Charms cereal.  Now I totally want a bowl of  Lucky Charms but only if the little leprechaun appears.  I guess they really are magically delicious!      ...

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Pouty Lips? Such Bullshit!

Posted by on Dec 8, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

As technology continues to progress from social media to the latest phones and various ways to watch umpteen television shows as well as movies along with every other innovative device people feel compelled to keep up with the one thing I despise more than anything else including pea-brained people who take pictures of themselves is when girls pucker their lips as if they’re models posing.  Are you f*cking kidding me?  It’s now become an epidemic.  Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and all other social networking sites displaying all these simpletons making that same stupid face which I refer to as kissy lips.  Why do these followers continue to do this?  Do they think they’re gracing the cover of ELLE?  Will these brainless, sheeple bitches ever stop this absurd behavior or will it remain a permanent annoyance forever?   I don’t know when or how this explosion of sorts began because I sure as hell know this never happened when I was in school.  Then again there were no technology platforms either which is where this entire idiocy began.  Guys did; however, begin wearing sideburns circa 1990-19994 due to the immense popularity of Beverly Hills 90210 but it wasn’t at all the stupidity compared to what’s going on now every time girls post photos of themselves while pursing their lips.  When I look at various web or other social sites and see innumerable pictures of girls mostly ranging in age from teenagers all the way up to women in their 60’s (as evident of online photos of distant relatives I’ve yet to meet) it’s utterly sad that this is the extent of what they’ll do for attention.  Celebrities included.  Not only do I see carbon-copies of girls, whether being serious or just joking around making that same dim-witted face, they actually look as if they’re about to go down on someone.  A class act!   For those unaware of this the early 90’s became the mecca for supermodels and when they’d make kissy (also referred to as duckface) lips it was appropriate since they walked the runways worldwide and were adored by millions but for imbecilic girls as well as women to make the same faces is absolutely ludicrous.  Even if they’re fooling around for the camera why do they pout their lips together looking as if they’re about to suck somebody off?  The more I see this I think of one hilarious line from the movie The Great Outdoors when Roman, referring to hot dogs says “You know what they make those things out of, huh Chet, you know?”  “Lips and assholes!”  Which is exactly what I think every time I see these empty-headed girls’ same face.  I don’t want to think about the part about hot dogs but I couldn’t agree more about the last bit because the more females (as well as males) make that same vacuous face with their lips the more they look like assholes.  I’ve seen girls do this in malls, grocery stores, public restrooms and even at work.  Wannabe’s puckering their lips while taking pictures of themselves with their cell phones for all their moronic friends/followers to see.  If this type of behavior was in its infancy I could understand many people wanting to join in but come on it’s been going around for I don’t know how long.  Give it up already.  This is a prime example of when the phrase “What the F#ck?” can’t be more appropriate in terms of explaining this entire craze.    I will admit one thing regarding kissy lips.  Whenever I want my dog to kiss me I tell/sing...

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My Comfort Zone

Posted by on Nov 30, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Things have always come difficult for me my entire life.  In school while other kids would be working on a project or following along with the teacher I’d be several steps behind not understanding what to do or simply drifting off into one of my many fantasies due to my inability to concentrate.  As I’ve gotten older things haven’t changed only now I can accept it.  When I’m taught something instead of immediately catching on it takes me a few times of practicing until I finally get it while others have no problems.  The story of my life.  At my current job it took me almost a month until I got it down pat.  One month while it takes most people no more than a day.  Once I got the hang of it I had no problem but the issue I’ve had my whole life is that things always take me longer to learn than others and it’s not fair.   When I first started my current job there was no online ordering or any other apps on people’s phones in which they could use.  But over time technology has become so advanced it’s basically taken over which is why it took me several tries before I was able to comprehend everything but once I did things went smoothly.  So every time I go to work it’s not a struggle due to the fact that I can do my job with no difficulties despite each day becoming more and more hectic due to online orders.  You’d think management would know me by now realizing I can’t simply be thrown into something and be expected to immediately begin performing the task but apparently that’s not the case since on Monday, the busiest day of the year for online orders they scheduled me to do just that.  What I should have done was told management or at least my manager that I’d be unable to handle acquiring order after innumerable order but I didn’t want it to look as if I simply didn’t want to do it.  Yet someone else who is more tech savvy would have had no qualms nor struggles with it.   What began as a day at work turned into a nightmarish hell.  Now mind you unlike most people who own modernized cell phones I still have my flip phone since I don’t text, take pictures nor rely on it as means of social survival as many do yet when I came to work and already had misgivings about having to be the only person going to get items for constant online orders I was given a quick tutorial on what buttons to push in order to locate then place objects in their correct location.  This is also something I cannot simply be thrown into as whenever I’ve been taught how to perform functions such as this it’s taken me longer than most since I must practice several times beforehand.  In addition, this was an absolutely crazy day with order after endless online order being processed, nonstop calls overhead to management as well as other departments since now is the biggest time for retailers and it was just overall a chaotic day.  After being rapidly told what to do I was nervous as hell but proceeded to the backroom to obtain the first item.  That went off without a hitch and during the interim I performed other duties.  But a little while later an order of four large items appeared requiring me to once again go into the backroom and ask the same person to help me...

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