80’s Blog

Read the latest blog posts from 80sGirl4Ever! You never know what she’s up to, but you can be assured she’s got on her leg warmers and neon colors while she’s doing it.

Grody to the Max Yet Hysterical Beyond Words

Posted by on May 21, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Seeing that I’m 80sgirl4ever the title of this particular entry is not only totally 80’s esque it’s more than appropriate in regards to certain commercials airing on television as well as online. I’m sure by now most people have seen both or at least one of the commercials for V.I.Poo where the glammed up actress is attending a movie premiere followed by her entering the ladies room at which point she begins describing in detail how, prior to relieving oneself a person can plentifully spray the product directly into the toilet bowl to eliminate any stench thus releasing a delightful fragrance which, in my opinion is sickening yet hilarious.  From the picture of what she refers to as “Devil’s Doughnuts” inside the toilet bowl to the director going into the bathroom right after the actress leaves only to gesture his hand back and forth in order to get whiff of what scent was left behind while smiling is highly entertaining.  Pure Hollywood!  While the concept is so gross I’m quite certain the television advertisement continues to make people laugh including myself and further validates how toilet humor will always be funny.  

 

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better several weeks ago I was in the cleaning supply aisle of a grocery store and happened upon a small spray bottle with the words Unicorn Gold on it.  Apparently the company which makes it is called Squatty Potty which, along with the words before-you-squat spray are also written on the bottle.  The product Squatty Potty could be an entire blog by itself pertaining to its own purpose but this one is strictly for toilet spritzes.  Unicorn Gold is essentially the same things as V.I.Poo since, as with most products when one company creates something another one hurriedly markets a carbon copy in hopes of being as or more successful.  I don’t know which one launched first. Don’t care either but I do know that after I viewed their commercial on YouTube I won’t ever be able to look at a rainbow without thinking of the product. Unlike V.I.Poo which combines toilet humor with the pretentiousness of being a celebrity Unicorn Gold is set in a faraway magical kingdom while a handsome prince illustrates how the product works as several adorable animated unicorns begin releasing their multi-colored bodily functions in order to demonstrate the effectiveness of Unicorn Gold.  It’s cute yet crude at the same time.  Love it!!!!!  But it doesn’t end there as another scene shows a duchess sitting on the toilet or in this case her throne while explaining how Unicorn Gold has changed the way she now goes to the bathroom. While the names of each spray are quite comical my favorite is Fruity Booty.  I now wish I had my own pet unicorn. 

 

Last but not least this product appropriately titled Poo-Pourri is my absolute favorite simply because their viral video titled How to Poop at a Party is side-splitting and vulgar as hell about a girl who’s having dinner with her boyfriend and his family yet desperately needs to use the bathroom located inside a telephone booth directly behind the table. The video offers three options as to what the girl should do from from using an aerosol after she’s done to going outside in the bushes or using P00-Pourri before she goes.  Their other commercials are equally comical as well as descriptive and it’s no wonder I’ve never seen them air on television and probably won’t.

 

Now I admit all three commercials are wildly entertaining and I can watch them over and over again as I’m sure others have but in all honesty was it really necessary to create a product like this?  The purpose of all three toilet sprays is to make one’s pooh smell nice while they’re going to the bathroom which is not only disgusting it’s really pointless.  Why don’t people just wait until they’re finished so they could use an aerosol or some other type of air freshener to simply and subtly spray the entire area instead of inside the fricken’ toilet bowl? You know this never would have been devised years ago only reaffirming how etiquette is literally going down the crapper.

 

                                            

 

Narrowly Averted Mishap

Posted by on May 5, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

I’ve heard many stories about people who’ve escaped tragic events due to divine intervention and thankfully I’ve been helped on more than one occasion.  Just today I was driving home from work when a deer darted in front of my car terrifying me because I was so thankful I didn’t hit it.  I immediately stopped and stared at the poor animal who was so scared and helpless just standing in somebody’s front yard.  Suddenly I saw another deer run from across the street towards the first one as I said a prayer to St. Francis of Assisi who is the patron saint for animals asking that He protect both deer and lead them safely back to the forest.  Still shaken up a bit because of what had just occurred I needed to make sure they weren’t still in the front yard so I drove up several houses then turned around all the while still praying and thankfully when I got to the yard where the two deer had been neither were there.  While my Friday was as tedious as could be due to the gloomy rain this most frightening of incidents made me realize someone up there is always looking down on us even if we don’t think He is.

 

Is Forgiveness Always the Key?

Posted by on Apr 30, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

It’s been several weeks since my cousin passed away and the disbelief has been replaced with utter sadness.  As stated in my previous entry people deal with grief in many different ways and mine is to temporarily shut out reality (at least while at home) by immersing myself in various television programs and movies which has helped quite a bit.  Writing also enables me to express my thoughts on a range of topics which are not only therapeutic at this particular period of time but I can also write about certain subjects not always discussed yet ones that make for interesting reading.

 

Such is the case regarding whether or not people really need to forgive others in order to overcome their own heartache.  Of the countless real-life crime shows I’ve seen about someone who’s been murdered, so many times a relative or friend of the victim/victims will state that the only way for them to get past their rage and emotional distress is to forgive the person who committed the crime.  They talk about how by forgiving the monster who brutally killed their loved one they’re able to get past their own anguish and move on and that’s good for them but others might not necessarily be in agreeance with them including myself.  If God forbid someone in my family were a victim of homicide or even vehicular manslaughter I’d be consumed with so much agony and hatred I wouldn’t be able to sleep or even concentrate on anything more than wanting that person to pay with their own life for what they’d caused.  While I might not act on those thoughts and as the years pass the immense hatred may even subside I sure as hell wouldn’t forgive the monster responsible I just couldn’t.

 

Whenever I watch a show about someone who states that they’ve “learned” or “decided” to forgive the killer who took away their loved one I get so repulsed and incensed because I just can’t comprehend it.  Yet whenever I watch other shows depicting a person who enacted revenge on their loved one’s killer/killers I’m content with that.  I feel justice was dutifully served and that they should be fully exonerated whether it’s deemed a revenge killing or a case of temporary insanity as frequently used by defense attorneys.  Every single time there’s a program on about someone having been murdered followed by that person’s relative making their victim impact statement about how they’ve forgiven the inhuman killer who executed the unspeakable crime it literally turns my stomach and my mood immediately turns to anger.  Some cases, though rare are ones I can understand.  For example, if somebody driving accidentally hits and kills someone and it was simply an accident with it being no one’s fault and the relative or relatives of the victim does in fact forgive that person I’m OK with that because it wasn’t intentional.  But if a person cold-heartedly murders another whether it be due to a crime of passion, over money or any other reason due to the simple fact that he or she is nothing more than a completely depraved killer there’s no way in hell I’d forgive them.  No f*cking way!

 

Now if the script was flipped and the relative of the victim making their impact statement were to pull a gun on the person who committed the crime thus killing him/her my mood would change entirely as I’d know this was fully justified and the person, otherwise knows as the murderer got exactly what they deserved.  Then that relative could in turn plead insanity in the same court room and they just may end up being acquitted.  To which I proudly exclaim “Amen and Hallelujah!”  Forgive that!  While I’m in no way encouraging people to go out and kill the person or persons who took away someone they love I am illustrating the profundity of how I can’t and won’t agree with people who themselves decide to forgive or who try to console others who’v lost someone they love to a heinous act by encouraging them to forgive the person who perpetrated the crime so as to come to terms with it and move on.

 

Let people go through the various emotions necessary in order to get through a most devastating loss whether it be sheer agony, absolute hatred and even thoughts about retribution (just so long as they don’t act on them).  If after some time they feel they can forgive the person who carried out the crime against their loved one and they feel peace and closure that’s great but if they feel that, despite getting through their own emotional suffering they’ll never be able to forgive that’s fine too.  There’s no law stating that the only way people can get through their own affliction is to find forgiveness towards others.  It doesn’t always work that way and honestly shouldn’t.

 

Reeling from the News

Posted by on Apr 4, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Since relocating back to New York almost eighteen years ago I’ve had to do something I never have before.  Accept one’s passing.  Thankfully I wasn’t very close to any of my three family members so I wasn’t too affected by their loss but when I lost my dog more than seven years ago it destroyed me more than words could ever express.  We all knew he was ill though I chose to entirely block it out (something I’ve done my entire life when faced with hardship) while believing he could somehow be miraculously be cured.  While the agony has somewhat subsided over time it’s something I’ll never get over.  I was hoping that would be the last loss I’d ever have but that all changed at around 5:oo a.m. this morning when I was told my cousin had passed away.

 

He was especially close to my family always coming over for holidays and in general.  He’d been ill on and off for many years with the disease I hate more than anything possible so much to the point where I can’t even write it that begins with the letter C. While I knew it could be his demise one day I once again chose to ignore it first off because not dealing with the harshness of reality is a lot easier than having to face it and secondly because he’d been diagnosed with this abhorrent illness several times before and through various treatments beat it so I naturally thought and hoped this would be like the other times but unfortunately it wasn’t.

 

I’m working later tonight and I really wish I’d gone in early so as not to have gone over a family member’s house and hear about all the arrangements which need to be made.  Again it’s a lot simpler to just shut it all out and enter a world of fantasy as a way of handling or in my case not handling this but I had to face it along with being there for my mother.  The problem is I’m in such shock I can’t even shed a tear. Both my mother and aunt have been crying all day but I’m still in such a state of disbelief it hasn’t hit me yet.  I know it’s going to and it’s gonna be very bad when that happens.

 

I understand when people who’v lost someone do certain things that others simply can’t comprehend such as throwing themselves into their work, projects and even self-medicate just to name a few as a way of not coming to terms with with their loss. They not only can’t accept it they don’t want to.  I really wish I could sit on my bed and completely immerse myself inside movies as a way of coping with what I still can’t believe.  Only I can’t.  Had I known how truly ill my cousin was maybe I could accept it but the fact that within four short weeks he went from being healthy to deteriorating so quickly I just can’t.  My uncle who passed away years ago had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease and it was a prolonged disease which we all prepared for but this was so sudden I still can’t process it.

 

What I’m dreading most of all is knowing that I’m going to have to see my cousin who I’ve known my entire life and who was constantly around lying in a casket and I don’t know how I’l be able to handle it. Will I have accepted him being gone prior to the mass or will I entirely close my eyes to the truth until that dreaded day when I will have no choice but to accept it head-on?

 

I know there are several stages of grief when dealing with a loved one’s passing the first being denial but I don’t want to have to get to the next level though I know I have no choice but to.  Maybe it’s a good thing I am working tonight so I can at least focus on work and not think about what I can’t accept has happened.  So much heartache when facing reality yet so much pleasure when living in a fantasy.

Still Clueless

Posted by on Mar 31, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Being a child of the ’80s you’d think the game Clue would have been one I played at least once when in fact I never did.  Scrabble?  Yes!  Uno?  Absolutely!! Monopoly?  But of course!!!  Yet for some inexplicable reason Clue was one I hadn’t owned nor did any of my friends which is why I never played it. This also may be the reason as to why I’d never before seen the movie up until this past Sunday.  Not only was I extremely disappointed from beginning to end it was 2 hours and 45 minutes of completely wasted time.  It would have been more productive to have put curlers in my hair and a facial mask on.  At least my hair would have bounce and my skin would be softer.  Instead of surmising “It was Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick” by the time the film was over I wanted to hit myself in the head with that candlestick while Professor Plum looked on.

 

I began to wonder whether or not I’d made a huge mistake by not having played the game so I went online in order to get a better understanding of how it works.  Once I began reading the rules of the game consisting of 3 to 6 players,  six suspect tokens, six murder weapons, nine rooms, secret passages, 21 cards, a pad of detective notebook sheets, three cards places in an envelope revealing the answer and a staggering 324 possibilities of who, where and what that was enough for me to know not only would I not have been able to figure it out when I was younger I have no intention of ever trying.

 

The game is similar to other board games in that there’s a die and a deck of cards but there are also murder weapons which become placed in rooms randomly with no more than one per room and all of the tokens represent each character but unlike other games which determine who goes first by way of rolling the die whoever has Miss Scarlet (red token) rolls first followed by the player to the left of Miss Scarlet and so on.  Then the fun begins.  The object is to determine the killer, murder weapon and the room in which the crime was committed as players suggest who they feel the suspect is while the others are called in to disprove it.  When a player thinks they’ve figured out which three cards are in the envelope on their turn they say who they suspect of committing the crime, in a particular room with a specific weapon.  Following this the player looks at the cards in the envelope.  If they’re correct they win the game.  If they’re not they lose the game and must put the three cards back inside the envelope then place it onto the board.  While the person who lost can no longer play they must stay at the table to refute the suggestion of others while the remaining people continue to play until one of them correctly chooses all three cards thus winning the game.

 

Is it a board game or jury duty?  After reading that entire list of rules it only reaffirms how overjoyed I am that Clue was one game I never had the misfortune of playing.  If anything I’d partake in a murder mystery theater because even if I was completely wrong about my assumption at least I’d get dinner out of it.  The closest I’ll probably ever come to being involved in a murder mystery is watching The Golden Girls episode entitled The Case of the Libertine Belle when all four roommates attend a murder mystery weekend.  Now that was entertaining and funny as hell and I wasn’t as bewildered as I was while reading the rules to the game or irate while watching the movie.  

 

I so wish I had two or three people to play Monopoly with even if I only end up owning all or just one of the light blue properties otherwise known as the projects at least I’d get some fun out of rolling the dice knowing wherever I land even if it’s on someone else’s estate and I owe them thousands as a result it won’t be nearly as confusing as it would be if I were trying to guess who killed who with what in some room of a mansion simply by suggesting and accusing.  Things like this are the cause as to why many people start drinking.

 

 

Constantly Pushing the Envelope

Posted by on Mar 25, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Often times I’m perplexed as to which particular topic I should write about but then something will happen or someone will say something about the exact thing I’d also been thinking of thus prompting me to post my entry.  Such is the case regarding the word shit which I was always taught is a profanity. Whenever a rated R, PG-13 or PG movie became televised all of the swear words were either erased or replaced with other words but as of several months ago certain televised movies and even television shows are using that word as if it’s the word “the” and that’s really bad.  

 

“The New Edition Story” which aired recently on BET used that word innumerable times throughout the movie and I was shocked.  In several scenes it was like every word.  While the movie was excellent and really told of the hardships every one of the members of the group faced the word didn’t have to be used at all.  I also noticed some other television show used the word more than once and now it’s becoming more and more common.  So if a family is watching a television program and the word shit is used how are the parents/parent going to feel especially if they’re very strict regarding the subject matter their children are and aren’t allowed to watch?  I guarantee they won’t be too happy and may even go so far as to relay their discontent through social media or even by contacting the network which aired the program directly.

 

I thought I was the only person who felt this way but several nights ago I was talking with someone and he mentioned the exact same thing which to me was a sign that I must write about it and there you have it.  So basically the words damn, hell and ass (which have been used on TV for years) along with bitch, sonofabitch and bastard (said more times on a show than the word love)  are all part of the English language and now we can add shit to that.  How wonderful!

 

More and more people nowadays keep on trying and succeeding in stretching the limits whether to shock people or just for the simple fact that they can and it’s really unnecessary.  Maybe by the way things are going by this time next year what’s still referred to as the F Word (in addition to a few others) will be spoken nonchalantly on television so no words will be off limits.  So much for censorship or should it be censorshit?!?!?!  

Green is the True Color of Happiness

Posted by on Mar 17, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Alas!  We’ve finally arrived at my second favorite holiday after Halloween being St. Patrick’s Day. Despite us having heaps of snow which I pray will soon all melt away St. Patrick’s Day is still a sign that it’s the beginning of spring.  Just as I do every year on this day my night will consist of watching Leprechaun and Leprechaun 2.  I only wish I had a real leprechaun to watch it with.  Dammit!!!  Is it sad that sometimes especially around this particular time of year I just wish I had a little person to dress up as a leprechaun?  Is it sadder that every time I see a rainbow I wonder whether a pot of gold is sitting at the end just waiting to be taken home? Then again if that were to happen to me I’d probably have a leprechaun trying to kill me for taking his.  On second thought forget what Judy Garland sang about.  I’ll stick to my own special wishes such as owning a huge clover patch behind my mansion about fifty feet away from the beach where leprechauns as well as Oompa-Loompas all live.  It would be a desolate beach so no one would bother them, we’d all live happily ever after and there’d be no pot of gold in this fantasy!  Let others get rowdy, wasted and act like complete idiots at bars and parties while I revel in leprechauns, shamrocks and magic on this most festive of occasions.  Why am I suddenly craving Lucky Charms?

 

 


Never a Dull Day

Posted by on Mar 16, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

I had no intention of writing tonight but due to an incident that happened only several hours ago I have no choice but to explain it as it’s something I’ve actually often wondered about yet never posted.  While at work today I noticed a navy backpack on the floor at the entrance.  There was no one around it and it immediately raised alarm bells.  Maybe it’s because I watch so many Investigation Discovery shows in addition to other programs having to do with real-life crime as the reason why but I instantly thought of one thing.  A bomb!  Just seconds after I saw the backpack I asked several co-workers if they knew anything about it but no one did.  So the manager called security right away and while a couple of people joked about it all I could think of was “What if somebody but a bomb or other explosive device inside there?”  As this wouldn’t be the first time this has occurred.  While the security guard was on his way to the backpack several people coming into the store just looked at it including one woman who mentioned something about whether or not it contained anything.  When security arrived he picked up the backpack and thankfully it was empty as we all breathed heavy sighs of relief because I sure as hell wouldn’t have done that.  He then looked at the surveillance tape and determined a gentleman had walked inside and accidentally dropped it.  Several minutes later the security guard located the man and notified him that the backpack would be placed behind the counter where I worked.

 

A little while later a ginormous man who stood about 6’7″ tall approached me and said the backpack was his.  I could tell something was off with him not only by his mammoth size but the fact that he had some missing teeth and when I asked him if he realized he’d dropped his backpack upon entering the store he said “Not really” then thanked me and left.  First off why did the guy walk into a retail store carrying an empty backpack then drop it and be completely unaware of it?  I just can’t get it but this particular occurrence has me asking myself what if someone whose elevator didn’t reach the top floor which is very common today seeing the problem this country has regarding the mentally ill and people who are just completely twisted decided to place a bomb inside a backpack and upon it being picked up would promptly detonate?  What would one do?  Would they call the police who in turn would contact the Bomb Squad resulting in the entire place of business shutting down and being cordoned off by them?  Yet how would one know there was something dangerous inside the backpack and wouldn’t just open it up to inspect the item just as the security guard did today?  There’s so many possible analyses yet no definitive answer.

 

All I know is that I’m greatly relieved that the guy had nothing inside his backpack (just as he has nothing inside his head) and it was a legitimate mistake but the one good thing was that it had everyone’s guard up which is so vital in this day and age.  Now I’m going to watch yet another crime show this time on Snapped which will only heighten my already state of cautiousness but it’s better to be careful than carefree.

Punishment or Just Bad Luck?

Posted by on Mar 14, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

I’m not sure whether this is because of my previous entry regarding people going overboard in terms of buying items in preparation for today’s snowstorm but what are the chances of me getting stuck (not the first time this has happened) at the bottom of our driveway not only preventing me from going to work but forcing me to shovel my way out thus proving futile resulting in Triple AAA having to pull the car out?  What are even more chances that I was off yesterday on a most perfect day yet today on one of the worst days this year I was scheduled to work?  I’ll continue to ask myself this question yet will probably never get the answer to it.  In any way after my ordeal outside I’m now warm and safe in my jammies and since I’m off tomorrow after I work out it’s another fun-filled day lounging around in them.  I really, really hate snow yet really, really like drinking hot chocolate on frigid days like this. 

Stockpiling Once Again

Posted by on Mar 13, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Why is it every time people hear the words snowstorm more than half the city goes into a panicked frenzy buying enough food and paper products for the next year?  Don’t they know the snow’s gonna come and go within a period of several days?  Just a little while ago I went to the grocery store and you’d have thought it was the fricken’ apocalypse.  People carrying out cases and bottles of water and paper products was reminiscent of the latter part of 1999 when countless idiots believed that the year 2000 would be the end of the world.  Gee I hope all those gallons of water sure came in handy hoarded inside their basements.

 

Now five days ago we had a horrendous windstorm which caused so much damage some people are still without power but I didn’t mind the wind.  It was kind of enteraining to see people coming and going through the electric doors followed by enormous gusts of wind blowing the flimsy ceiling tiles comprised of styrofoam all over the place.  It was an even nicer sight to look up and see all the steel beams everywhere which immediately made me think of horror movies mostly played on Chiller in which people are inside rooms with similar steel insulation hiding then running for their lives from their killers.  Majorly enthralling!

 

I commented to several co-workers that it was the most fun I’ve had at work in the 8 1/2 years since I’d been there.  Less than a week later people are now bracing for snow which, despite the forecast will be gone by next week.  As long as I don’t get stuck in either the driveway or on the road is all that really matters to me.